Sometimes nowhere 

I was born in the north of England in 1976.

I moved to Leicester for university in 1995.

With my degree in my pocket, I moved to London, hand in hand with my fiancé in 2000.

I moved back to Leicester with my fiancé following his cancer treatment in 2004.

I slunk back to London, spirit broken, heart broken, single again in 2005.

Remoulded, renewed and on an optimistic whim, I moved to Melbourne in 2008.

In my life, I’ve lived 18 years in Barrow-in-Furness, 8 years in Leicester. 8 years in London and now 8 years in Melbourne.

My home has been many places but I never feel at home. Permanently. Settled. Melbourne has come closest but now I feel that familiar jolt of what’s next? I’m drawn back ‘home’ to London. A draw to family, old friends, old humour, like a comfy old warm sweater that hugs you in return for your loyalty.

But will 2017 London resemble 2007 London. Life’s moved on, friends, family moved on. I’ve moved on.

Can I really give this up? The sunshine, the beach, the lifestyle, the food, my best friend, the space?

Am I running away? Seeking something, someone I’ve not found here. Forever seeking. Sometimes I’m nowhere.

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